3aib! And The City.

An everyday girl who happens to be a psychologist

The Fast and the Charmingly Furious - Part 1

5th January 2012 - 5 mins read

My lovely readers, welcome back. I pray that you are all in the best of health.

A quick announcement first: I would like you all to share with me your experiences or thoughts on love, marriage, dating – whatever it is that’s on your mind related to this topic. This is just for pure curiosity and where I can help with a listening ear or advice, I will. E-mail me at 3aibandthecity@gmail.com and I promise to keep it entirely anonymous.

Second, if you’ve read “This Is Not a Fruits and Vegetables Market” then you’ll remember that one month ago, I started a mini-charity for a good cause. I decided that for one month I would monitor how many men I caught staring at me and for every man that stared, I would donate half a dollar to charity. To be entirely fair, I decided I would also donate half a dollar if I caught myself staring at a guy too. The month has ended this week and my total count is $24 for being stared at and $0.50 of staring myself. That means in one month, I have caught 48 men looking at me. These are not the guys that I felt staring at me. No. These are the guys I directly caught looking at me. I’m not going to go into another lecture on why they are doing this, but I will say the worst of all those men were the following. 1. The man I saw early in the morning staring at me with a rapist’s eyes from his car. 2. A guy that followed me directly to my house after midnight. 3. No older than a 15-year-old boy coming up to me at an event, standing one centimeter away from me, staring down at my chest and then walking off laughing. Now I’ve made a very conscious effort to keep my eyes to myself too and I’m not sure if it really only was one man I looked at, but I clearly remember this one guy because he was very cute and I accidentally caught myself looking at him for a few seconds. Maybe I stared at other guys too, but this one guy is the only one I remember. And as soon as I noticed I was staring at him, I looked away. In any case, that’ll be $48.50 I’ll be donating to charity this month. If you can’t beat ‘em, at least make a good cause out of them, right?


While chasing a girl in a car is considered to be a form of sexual harassment, I don’t consider it to always be that way. To me, it really depends on what the guy seems like and how he is chasing a girl. Before you get all defensive, let me explain through my next story: The night I met Sully.

It was maybe two or three weeks after I had broken up with Charles and was absolutely devastated. I had gotten so sick of feeling so down all the time, so one night, while heading out with Pixie to watch a movie, I decided to give myself a little confidence boost before I left the house. Even though I was dressed quite casually, I went out that night with so much confidence that I’m sure reflected on my outer appearance. I really felt like a million dollars. On our way to the mall, I stopped at the petrol station to grab a drink. There was something wrong with the cashier so while the employees fixed it, I took my drink and stood to the side. During this time, a tall, handsome man had walked into the station, grabbed a few things and walked over to the cashier. He put his things down on the counter and then noticed that I was standing on the side waiting for them to fix whatever the problem was. He looked over to me with a smile and apologized for taking my spot, clearing the way for me to pay first. I told him it wasn’t a problem and I was just waiting for them to fix the cashier. Now in such situations, Pixie is the type of friend who will make the situation 10,000 times more awkward than it already is in any way she possibly can. In seeing this exchange between me and this man, Pixie started giggling and ran out of the station back into my car. Seeing this happen, we both couldn’t help but laugh at the awkwardness we both felt we were in. I finally paid for my things and walked out back into my car.

While I drove down the road, Pixie looked out the window and noticed someone was following us. Taking a closer look, she said to me: “Oh my God! It’s the guy from the station! Please talk to him!!!” Having had my fair share of meeting guys in unconventional ways, and having just come out of a serious relationship, I refused. Pixie nagged and nagged all the way down the road until I finally gave in and told myself, “What’s the harm in having a little fun? I deserve a break.” I looked over to the guy that seemed to have no problem chasing me halfway through the city and smiled at him. I guess this was somehow the signal that I wanted him to continue chasing me all the way to the mall because that’s exactly what he did.

When we finally got to the mall, I drove all the way through the parking lot on the crowded Thursday evening, all the while this mysterious man still following me. While there was a part of me that didn’t approve of his behavior, there was another part of me that found it amusing and wanted to see just what he would say once I got out of the car. I finally parked my car in an empty spot and found the guy parking right behind me. He had no intention of going to the mall whatsoever – he was just waiting for me.

As soon as we got out of the car, Pixie, the master of awkwardness, yelled bye to me and ran all the way to the entrance. I never quite understood why, but Pixie was quite the runner in many different situations (literally and figuratively). I stepped out of my car and began walking casually towards the entrance. I stopped by Sully’s car, channeling my inner “bitch” to see just to what extent he was willing to tolerate me. He said, “Good evening.” I replied with a very cold “Good evening to you too” as I continued walking away. Sully then yelled, “Hold on!!! Where are you going?!” I turned around and said: “What do you want?” He said: “Nothing, I just wanted to say good night.” I stared back at him and said: “GOOD NIGHT TO YOU TOO,” and walked off.

In a humorous exchange that followed, Sully asked me to wait for a second and I continued being cold and asked him: “What do you want from me? Why did you follow me all the way to the mall? IS THIS APPROPRIATE?” He then said, “Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that you’re very cute!!! Wallah very cute!!!” By this point, I couldn’t help but laugh and stopped for a few seconds to talk to Sully. I said thank you and pretended to walk off again, but he called me to go back to him one more time and asked for my number. We chatted for a while and he seemed like a nice, funny guy, so I said to him: “Look, I don’t know you well enough to give you my number, but here’s my BB pin.” He added me and I waited quite a while before accepting in attempt to “play hard to get,” which is something I never knew and never will know how to do. Something I don’t even believe in.

I went home that night and was on Cloud 9, not just because I had met a new guy who was cute, funny and nice, but because I truly proved how powerful a woman’s confidence than be. I slept well that night.

To be continued (just to keep the stories nice and short).

Kisses and hugs,