3aib! And The City.

An everyday girl who happens to be a psychologist

What's A Gentleman?

20th December 2011 - 7 mins read

My lovely readers, can’t believe you’re still coming back for more. Obviously this means I’m doing something right! 

Let me go back in time to two years ago on the first night I met Charles. I had gone to an event with Pixie and the moment we walked through the door, this very old man wouldn’t take his eyes off of Pixie. When it comes to guys hitting on my friends or checking them out, I turn into a creature more violent than a man would be in his jealousy and anger at the same situation. Pixie is a very free-spirited type of girl and kept telling me to ignore him, but I couldn’t so we decided to move to the back of the room so I wouldn’t end up picking a fight with this guy. 

We got lost in the music and vibe of the event that night. As the time passed us, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a guy looking at me who was extremely handsome. He was quite far away from me so I thought to myself: “He’s probably not that cute. You’re blind. Don’t waste your time.” But since we had made eye contact, we both kept looking back and forth at each other throughout the night. Finally, he motioned to me with his hand to come over to him but I shook my head left and right and asked him to come to me instead. 

As he got up close to me, I noticed that Charles was extremely handsome. We danced together for a while and for the first time since I had started meeting guys, I met someone who didn’t seem to be a creep. He was out that night with a group of his friends, both girls and guys, and I found that to be comforting, as opposed to just a group of guys on their own. He didn’t try anything with me, but instead just innocently danced close by to me keeping his space. I found his decent behavior flattering, and for the rest of the night, he’d go to his friends and come back for a while, then go to them. Later on, I spotted Charles’s friend taking pictures of Pixie and I, which though I found weird and creepy, I still somehow felt that they were doing it out of fun and not to harass us. I stopped him immediately and we ended up laughing about it.  

At this point in time, I had built a little bit of an attitude with men. I had decided that if a guy had seen me somewhere randomly and wanted my number, he would have to build up enough courage to ask me for it in a timely fashion or he would lose his chance forever. So after about an hour of first spotting Charles, I told Pixie we should leave and go back near the entrance before we headed out. If Charles wanted to find me, he would come after me. If not, then I would be better off anyway. 

As Pixie and I got ready to head out, we stood close to the entrance for a few minutes and Charles’s friend came up to me and asked where we were going. I told him we were leaving, hoping in my head that Charles had not spent the whole night dancing with me for the sake of his friend. I thought that it was his friend that was interested in me and he was just doing that to eventually ask for my number for his friend, Frank. To my wonderful surprise, the next thing Frank said to me was, “Okay please don’t leave just yet. My friend wants your number. Please wait right here - don’t move.” I thought it was a cute gesture on Charles’s part to send his friend looking for me, so I decided to wait just a few more minutes. As Pixie and I waited, I spotted the same nasty man still in his same spot and staring at her once again. I completely lost my mind and started yelling and cursing at him, which was a very stupid move on my part. The man reacted by yelling back at me and Pixie had to push him away and drag me outside. 

As we walked out, I stopped for a moment and said to Pixie, “Awww, but the cute guy asked me to wait!” Being the incredibly easy-going best friend that she is, she turned around and took me back inside, away from the creepy man this time so I wouldn’t pick another fight with him. As soon as we walked back in, I found Charles waiting by the entrance for me. He handed me his phone without saying a word so I could give him my number, but instead, I gave him back his phone and handed him mine. I’m the type of woman that likes having the upper hand just a little bit, because I don’t like having to wait at the mercy of a guy’s call at the beginning of our relationship. It’s nice to have that control and he kindly submitted and gave me his number. 

During the time that this exchange happened, I couldn’t quite catch my breath. You see, up close and personal, Charles was drop-dead gorgeous. And I don’t like extremely handsome men. They intimidate me because as an average-looking girl, I tend to get quite self-conscious around them. I know it’s silly, but it will always make me think, “What does he see in me?” I believe that beauty is internal and all, but at least at first sight, it’s not easy being around such a handsome man. Despite this, I left that night feeling very happy. The funny thing about meeting Charles was that I had gone out that night without a thought in my head about men. The last thing I would’ve expected was to meet someone, especially someone who seemed so decent and who was so good-looking (Yes, women get excited about cute guys too). I would have never in a million years guessed that it would happen. I had just gotten out of my relationship with TF two months before this and I wasn’t quite ready to meet anyone just yet. 

The next day, I couldn’t get Charles out of my head. This was the first and only time in my life I had been so intrigued by a man because of his looks and maybe the first time I had really related to the mentality of a man and how he feels about a beautiful woman. I tried to play “hard to get” and wait a few days before messaging Charles, but I couldn’t resist. I was dying to see him again because the excitement had taken over me so I messaged him the very next day and for the next few days after that, we’d message and talk on the phone at least once a day. On the fifth day, I invited him out with my friends and I but he couldn’t make it, so I gathered up my pride and left the ball in his court. 

I was very confused about Charles at that point because it was only really my second real relationship. I didn’t know if he liked me or not and felt that he was sending me mixed signals. In my mind, it’s a simple equation and it goes like this: “You meet someone you think is attractive or you might like, you waste no time in seeing them a second time.” The fact that almost a week had gone by and Charles hadn’t asked to see me again was very bizarre to me. And then, my mind ran wild with thoughts of what his intentions were. At one point, I even thought that maybe he was interested in Pixie and was trying to get to her through me. I didn’t know what to think. Finally, the next day, Charles called me and said: “Get dressed right now and come to my friend’s house. His family is having a dinner gathering and I want you to come.” Though it was such a last minute plan, I didn’t care. In a matter of fifteen minutes I had thrown on my cutest outfit, done my hair and makeup, grabbed Ellie on my way, and headed to the dinner (I took Ellie along just for safety precautions). 

Charles greeted Ellie and I very warmly at the house and introduced me to all of his friends, who were as equally nice as him. Ellie had to leave after an hour or so, but I ended up spending six or seven hours that night with Charles. Frank was there too and I made fun of him for taking pictures of us that night by calling him Paparazzi, but I quickly discovered how much of a sweetheart he was and how he meant no harm. I was so happy that night because I truly couldn’t believe that I had met normal people. My cynical mind had gotten the best of me until this point, that I almost stopped believing that normal guys actually existed. 

Charles and I had a great time that evening. Of course at the beginning, I couldn’t figure out his intentions. To be quite honest, I didn’t even know if he was straight or not because he was being so sweet but wasn’t showing a direct interest in me and I thought, “Maybe he’s gay and just wants to meet new people since he just moved here from Europe.” I had gotten so used to men making a move on me on the first date that I automatically associated that as a sign of interest in my mind. I had forgotten that a true gentleman would treat a woman with respect and kindness the way Charles did. By the time the dinner had ended though, I was sure that Charles was interested in me. The eye contact we had, the laughter in our conversation and the comfortable chemistry we felt for one another was nothing I had ever experienced before. We quickly discovered how much we had in common and I found his stories interesting, smart and only made me want to get to know him better. I also loved the fact that he was of Arab origin but was raised abroad because it made me believe that I could relate to him having come from a similar background. I have to admit though that I had a hard time keeping my focus on what he was saying since I was so overwhelmed by his beauty, but all in all, I was completely lovestruck. (Men, I really know how it feels to be around a beautiful woman now!) 

I couldn’t have asked for more as I finally headed back home that night. I dropped Charles home that night as the sun cracked its way through the sky and slept with such joy in my heart that I never thought to be possible. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but I think there’s a little part of me that had started picturing our wedding after that day. 

Kisses and hugs, 

DS