22nd September 2011 - 6 mins read
My dearest readers, I hope your evening is as splendid as that of an enchanting fairytale. And if so, I hope that my story does not ruin your mood. For you know, I only aim to amuse and entertain.
Tonight’s story is not one that I am particularly proud of, but is one of the funniest things I’ve ever gone through. And it’s so out of character for me that I almost can’t believe I did this. In a way, I’m glad something like this happened to me because once in a while, I’ll remember this story and laugh insanely out of nowhere. Good times, good memories - great laughs.
My first boyfriend was someone I would never wish upon my worst enemies. He was not necessarily a bad person; in fact I think he was actually very kind-hearted. His problem was that he was quite… absent-minded, to put it very delicately. Like so absent-minded that every time we fought, it took him an average of two to three weeks to actually register that I wasn’t speaking to him anymore. Upon realizing this, it would take him another few days after that to react and attempt to fix whatever it is he did wrong. If you know me personally, you know that I am the most fiery, impatient person in the world. I don’t like waiting for things to happen and if they don’t happen right now, I’d rather they never happen at all. This isn’t the greatest quality to have, but it’s how I am as a person and throughout the years, I’ve learned to accept myself for all of my qualities - good or bad.
So, this boyfriend of mine, TF, drove me absolutely insane. We weren’t together for very long but in the time that we were together, he successfully managed to drive me so insane that I considered checking myself into a mental asylum towards the end of our relationship. We were together for maybe four months, most of which we spent broken up or fighting. We completely disagreed on everything - and I mean anything and everything. But somehow, just somehow, we had chemistry so strong that I could not let him go. Even though he drove me to the point of losing my senses, my feelings for him were so strong that I emotionally couldn’t stay away from him. It was the typical “hate that I love you” type of relationship. (Though of course I should note that I never loved him. I’ve learned to control my feelings in such a way that I don’t fall in love. True story but more on that later.)
You will for sure hear a lot about TF in many, many, MANY stories to come. This guy was just something out of the ordinary, a human species that could not be explained in words. If I were you, I would wait for the day those stories came because I guarantee they will make your day. And in a way, you won’t feel so bad about the things that happen to you. But for now, let me tell you about something that happened with TF long after we had broken up - the first time around anyway.
One of my best friends was visiting me from out of town and like any two normal human beings, we went shopping on a weekend afternoon. I had never told my friend about TF because I knew the relationship wasn’t going to last. And to be quite honest, I was a little embarrassed about dating him. I knew that anyone in the outside world would wonder what I was doing with someone like him and I couldn’t find the words to explain my magnetic attraction to him. So, apart from a few close friends, I generally avoided telling anyone that I was seeing him. You should consider yourself lucky to be hearing about him now.
So here I am, with my friend, getting ready to leave the mall on a very average afternoon. I had not heard from TF or seen him in weeks at this point. He had completely left my mind as I knew our relationship was for sure over this time. My friend and I start heading towards the exit of the mall and all of a sudden, out of the middle of nowhere, I see two tall male figures approaching my friend and I. I completely froze in my place for a second thinking, “No, no, no, no, no. My eyes are playing tricks on me. Can it be… Is it…. OH MY GOD IT’S TF!!!!”
They say you should always trust your instinct. You know, your gut feeling. That thing inside you that keeps pushing you to act in a certain way? Yes. That. And I listened to my gut as I stood there in complete shock, my legs almost failing me, and TF slowly but surely moving forward within the general direction of where I stood. And my gut told me to grab my friend and run like hell. I looked to my left at her and said, “COME WITH ME NOW!” She looked at me in complete confusion, wondering what on Earth I was up to. She tried to ask but I quickly shut her down and insisted she just came with me. I did not know what I had planned but all I knew was that I think for the first time in my life, I was thankful to God for giving me legs to run like hell with.
I ducked into the closest store next to me on my left, ran to the back and dived under one of the displays. I wasn’t sure if TF had seen me or not, but I was sure that if he had seen me, he would come looking for me. So I laid low for a few minutes, before popping my head back up again to check if the coast was clear. Once I was sure that he must have passed the store by now, I made my quick exit and straight out of the mall. At this point, my friend was staring at me like I was a complete stranger to her. I had to confess why I had just done what I had done and the only response I got out of her was, “Lovely. I have no words for you.”
Looking back at that day, I could not believe what I had done. I had never in a million years thought I would ever end up in a situation where I physically had to run away from someone. And when I left the mall that day, I was relieved to think I had gotten away with it. But everyone knows you can’t run away from something forever.
A few months after this had happened, TF had somehow found his way back into my life and we began talking again. We had agreed we were going to try and make it work again for the sake of the “chemistry” we had for one another (Yeah, obviously that didn’t last). You can imagine of course at this point that I had completely forgot about running the mall marathon that day. Until one dreadful moment, in the middle of a great conversation, TF asked me, “Hey by the way! Was there a time a few months back that you saw me in the mall and ran away?”
I couldn’t lie. But I also couldn’t stay serious. I burst out laughing and answered him with a simple yes. He started asking me why I would do something like that to him and I told him, “What do you expect? You drove me crazy when we dated and to be honest, you were the last person I wanted to see.”
He proceeded to explain to me that he didn’t see me that day but it was his friend that had spotted me. His friend had seen me in front of him and had seen me run away and hide but he said nothing to TF until they left the mall that day.
And at that moment, TF said to me, “Baby, if I had seen you running away I would’ve ran after you!”
I paused for a moment and responded, “Yes, I know, and that’s exactly why I ran.”
TF and I both found the situation so hilarious that we just laughed about it together. And while I am glad that I managed to avoid TF that day, I’m not going to lie. There’s a little part of me that really, really wants to know just would’ve happened if we had spent the afternoon chasing each other around the mall. And even better, if someone had gotten it on video.
Kisses and hugs,